“ The Blue Woods are Deep ” //© Shaaz Jung
if you have other friends I’m gonna automatically assume they’re better than me and you don’t need me anymore
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse ™ around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
(via notyouraverageaardvark)
I can’t understand the things you did
Or why you would do them
Especially to a child
When you have to start screaming back at your parents to get them to finally listen to you fucking sucks